God sets the lonely in families, [Or the desolate in a homeland]
he leads forth the prisoners with singing;
Psalm 68:6

I’d like to share a lesson that God has been teaching me over the last few months. Even though I have been learning this lesson on one level, over the holiday break a situation caused me to look at the lesson again and I was able to learn it at another level.

I know that God is in control of my life, and the life of my children. Yet, so often I try to control or manage situations so that they will prosper (not necessarily in a financial sense, which is why it can be deceptive). If it works then God gets the glory. If it doesn’t, then God still gets the glory yet deep down I’d wonder what else I could do to help the situation. Sounds horrid eh? It is. But the Lord revealed my sinto me. Not pretty, not at all. Downright ugly. After I had tried to reason it away, then justify it, I knew I had nowhere else to go but to the Cross – the cross of Calvary where blood was shed for my sin, once and for all. Yet I knew that I’d have to give up – ive up my control, my plans, my efforts to see this situation work out well. Eventually, I knew I really had no logical choice and I sat at the foot of the Cross.

God, the creator of all, who sets the heavens in place, who appoints the sun and the moon to do their job has also ordained the path of my children and their successes and failures. Oi Voi! I can plan and struggle and toil and network but the bottom line is that unless God has ordained it, my children will not reach the ‘high places’ that I dream of and plan for. I am realising more and more that any success they may achieve only comes from God for He will set them in a ‘high place’ or a ‘low place’.

My role isn’t to strive for the success. It is simply to apply myself at that which He has given me- He will set me (or my children) in place! I can stop fussing over it! Oh boy, I can stop toiling and stressing over situations. 😛 Sometimes I lament over the lack of opportunities that my children have and I worry that they may be disadvantaged in some way because of it. Oh boy, how self centred of me! God will set them wherever He sets them– regardless of me, or their upbringing, their opportunities or lack thereof!

I have been learning what it means to be a servant, His servant. I am too selfish to be a servant really. I think too much of myself…plan for myself, toil to get ahead. I look at my life and wonder how I can still be in this place after all these years. Surely after 20 years of serving God I should be in a better place or position, you know, a ‘higher place‘. Oh dear. Now my theology doesn’t agree with the ‘name it & claim it‘ teaching or the prosperity teaching makes me ill. I find it contrary to my reading and understanding of Scripture. If I am truly His servant, then I must accept all that He has given me and be thankful for it. It isn’t my role to question Him or to bemoan or curse what He has not given me. I know that my Father doesn’t always give me what I want, or what I think I want but He always supplies my needs. He has forgiven my sins and remembers them no more- what else do I need? He reached down from his heavenly high place, He lowered Himself to earth, He came to me and took away my guilt and shame and He washed me clean, by the blood of His Son. His mercy is new every morning, great is His faithfulness.

I may not know the reasons He does things but I can set my heart to accept that it is His will. Sometimes, when bad things happen to me I need to accept that even that is God’s will for me. Sometimes, I have a too-small view, a narrow self centred perspective. Everything that happens in my life is under His control and serves His purpose. I am His servant.

I know I have been a little jumbled here. I started off talking about how this related to a situation involving my children but ended with it being about me. But that’s exactly how the situation happened. Through my life as a mother, I looked in the mirror and saw my sinfulness. Putting feelings aside I went to the Cross and laid myself at His feet, allowing His blood to cleanse me. I am His servant. Lord do with me what you will. I am yours.

This is what the LORD says,
he who appoints the sun
to shine by day,
who decrees the moon and stars
to shine by night,
who stirs up the sea
so that its waves roar
the LORD Almighty is his name:
Jeremiah 31:35