Happy 18th Birthday to my sweet daughter.

We all love you very much.

Whoohoo!

We have a posting! John just called to say that we are indeed staying here in S.A.

The last week has been tumultuous as one day things have looked as though we’re staying and the next day it looked as if we were definitely headed for Darwin. Now there’s nothing wrong with Darwin and we would love to be posted there. One day…but our family is such that at the moment we really needed the stability of staying here for awhile.

We don’t know how long this posting is – could be till the end of 2009 or it could be extended till the end of 2010. That we don’t know…yet. But at least we can commit to things now like softball, coaching, cadets, etc. Due to softball commitments, Miss A put of her Fitness Training course until the off-season. Off season is May through to beginning of October. This is the only time she has to do the bulk of her course work. She had to postpone it last year because of our move and I feared she’d have to do the same (and sit on her hands) for another year. Well, she can start her course now! Master J is happy as he gets to stay in his Cadet unit and continue partaking in all the activities. Miss R gets to finish Yr 11 here, which is a bonus because it will mean that for the first time since she’s been attending school, she will have attended the same school for one whole year! Wow!

Thank you Lord…that part of the waiting is over.

I’m probably boring everyone to tears with my moving-not-moving saga but I did say I would post In Real Time.

Today, John put in the paper for the ‘powers-that-be‘ to look over. From this, they decide where we will be. Every aspect of our life (from location, housing, career options, promotions, children, education,etc. ) are decided by them. We can put in preferences but in reality this doesn’t mean a lot. It all depends on who is managing the case file. It shouldn’t be like that but often it is.

So we have put in our preferences. Now, we wait. We wait to be told where we will spend the next few years of our life…where we will call home. We wait to see when we will have to say goodbye to family and friends here in Adelaide. We wait for them to tell us when to start packing. We wait to to hear where we’ll be moving so we can decide what to take with us and what to leave in storage or give away.

Now, we wait…and try not to get too excited over the possibilities in case we don’t get that particular location. Again, we wait to see where Miss A will fit in with her health and fitness studies. Will she do correspondence or attend on campus? I find it hard to trust when we’re not the ones making decision for our life, for our future. I stress a bit that others (who may not know us, or like us or even give a hoot) get to make major decisions that will impact my family…my children’s lives.

Now, the hard part. Waiting.

If you would continue to pray for us I’d be so thankful. Please pray that our Father moves the hearts of those who are making decisions for our lives. Please pray for our children. Please pray that we will be still and know that God is our Father and ultimately will work things for our eternal good? Please pray that I will indeed trust Him- whether or not I see Him working or not?

Okay, my attitude is changing. Thanks for praying for us. I can’t explain exactly how it is happening…but I can tell you where my mindset is now.

If we fight to stay here, we’ll still only be here for another 12 months…then we’re off to another posting. Because of the nature of the posting DH will be unable to do promotional courses so it is really just 12 months of marking time. It will be at least 5 years before we could look at coming back here.

Where did my adventurous spirit go? Where or when did I lose it? I don’t know…I think it started to wane 2 houses ago. But you know what? I liked that adventurous spirit. It was exciting. It was fresh and made everything seem new. If we were to go away again now, there might be a possibility that we could return again in a few years.God, I want that attitude back again – for me, for my husband and for my children.

I can move again. I have another move left in me. I can bloom somewhere else…the glass is half full. Life is full of opportunities if only I’m willing to see them that way. Homeschooling and the military is our chosen way of life. Both help to provide full, rich learning experiences for our children. The fact that one of those choices is what puts bread on the table also can’t be overlooked.

Here I was stressing over some of the children (and they have had it hard but since when has my job been to make their life easy?)  yet this is life. If my Master J wants to join the Defence Force as an adult (and he says he does) well, this is it! Military life in real time! If he decides it’s not for him, at least he will know before he signs up and commits as an adult! That is a positive.

We might get to see a part of Australia that we have never seen yet, and are unlikely to see without moving there. We’re off on another adventure! (Still don’t know any details but this is my mental attitude). John just called me to to confirm that I haven’t been drinking lol. (Just kidding people- it’s his way of asking if I was just trying to ‘put on a brave face’ for him or if I could truly live with the decision.)

Challenges. Opportunities. Half-full. Bloom. Choose to be thankful. Choose an attitude. Choose to be positive. Choose joy.

This is where I’m at right now…stay tuned. 😉

We were fairly settled in brisbane…but some family members were quite ill back home (in SA) so the army wanted to be supportive and sent us back home for a CoPas posting which is 12 months. That is up soon, at the end of March. However, John hasn’t seen any paperwork yet, which isn’t right. His bosses are more than happy for him to stay here in SA but it isn’t up to them. The decision lies with the Soldier’s Career management unit. They can be good but then can be pigheaded and pigeonhole people. My husband looks a fair bit younger than he is. He is often mistaken for being between 33-38 years old. He turns 50 this year!!!! He is pretty fit for his age but come on, with all the mismanagement of injuries he’s had over the years he just can’t do what the 30-40 yo’s can do. He does do more than he needs to for his age though. For some reason this career management unit just seems to treat him like he’s 20 and climbing the corporate ladder…when this is the opposite of what he wants! We don’t move around all this much for John to get another promotion. That’s not where he is at.

Some of my blog readers know the drama we’ve had with one of our children. This particular child also goes to school. But let me tell you, homeschooling and defence life are suited to each other like a glove is to a hand. Perfect! Schooling and defence life are pretty hard for a child and a teen. This child has difficulty getting into the subjects or classes that they need because they get enrolled in a new school too late (like half way through the year), etc. It is very tough…amidst the emotional, hormonal youthful years. So yes, moving with my ‘challenging child’ is at the very forefront of my mind. I wonder what difficulty will be put before them this time…just when it seems like the child is really starting to try to get their life together.

Master 13’s main concern is for a decent cadet unit. Master 11 doesn’t really have any concerns. So long as his mum and dad are there, he’s happy. 🙂

I’ve always tried to foster an adventurous attitude toward moving…for this is how I’ve viewed it. I’ve had opportunities to see and experience parts of Australia that I would not have been able to do, if not for military life. I always try to believe and live that I will “bloom where I am planted” and the ‘glass is half full’ and all that kind of positive talk. Despite this, there have been negatives. However, short of applying for a discharge posting it looks like we will indeed be off again. And taking a discharge posting is really not viable at the point in our lives. 12 months…12 lousy months I have been home and we’re off again. Do I know where to this time? Nope! But it will be far from here…far from my dad…far from my extended family.

Possibilities that I have to get my head around are Brisbane, Darwin, Sydney, Townsville or Ross Island. There are pro’s and con’s to both Brisbane and Darwin…but in the end, the decision isn’t ours. I guess that’s what I find hard. I’m more than willing to weigh things up- make a decision and then live with the consequences…I find it hard to live with the consequences of something that isn’t really my choice. Someone else looks over a few paper’s in our file and then they decide where we will spend the next few years of our life-regardless of how it may affect my children. Sure I get to have a choice- I get to put in a preference for town A or town B…doesn’t matter if I don’t want either of them. Goodness, I have moved so much over the last 8 years. If my hubby has to be there, I’ll be there. I’ve gone anywhere, done anything, put up with anything…but sometimes in one’s life there comes a time when one just can’t keep up with that. I’ll definitely be relying on the strength of the Lord…Oh Lord, please be very real to me right now.

As Beyond Bluestockings tried to encourage me in her comment, I am trying to see God’s sovereignty in it all. I see His hand in dealing with the Israelites and with others but in this situation? Hmm…this is where I’m having difficulty. I know He can move mountains but I’m seeing military bureaucracy as being immovable and insurmountable at the moment. They seem to hold the key to my family’s future in their hands. Dramatic? Maybe but it actually contains an element of truth to it.

So we’re weighing up the pro’s and the con’s so we can put in our preferences, after staying here of course. lol. Please pray for us and for those that hold the power of the decision.

Ever written a post and wished you could delete it? Well, that’s kinda how I felt about my last post. Not because I threw a hissy fit…I have done that previously with life and God, rather because it wasn’t encouraging or informative. I did think twice about posting it (and even left it in my draft folder for 24hours, aren’t I a good blogger? lol) because it didn’t point to Christ…didn’t encourage anyone to seek God’s word or aim for anything (health, family life, etc). I was simply having a whinge. I wondered if I should delete the post. But then I realised that this is my site…if you came to my house and had coffee with me, you would hear it from my lips. If you are my ‘IRL’ (In Real Life) friend you would be walking this journey with me IRT (In Real Time) so why not on my blog?

I guess I’ll apologise in advance for the fact that my posts related to the possibility of moving may not be encouraging, uplifting, informative or the like…but they will be real- an autobiography of my thoughts during this period of my life. Don’t like it? Tell me about it. I have to be a little careful as I’m talking about a government agency…so I will try to refrain from truly speaking my mind but you’ll get the gist of where my head and my heart is. You’ll get to share in my ups and downs, the nitty and the gritty. Don’t expect it all to look like sweetness and light. Yup, God is my Father and He is mighty…doesn’t mean I walk in that 24/7, unfortunately. I’d like to say that I don’t compartmetalise God and most of my theology doesn’t…but the ‘rubber meets the road’ not as much in doctrine but in real life eh.

So if you don’t care for these posts, don’t read. If you do need to know 😉 they will be tagged with ‘moving house‘.

As a total aside to this post…God is good! I got my baby back yesterday. :rotfl: Yes! Yes! Yes! (She exclaims wildly with fists pumping in the air!) He knows my wants, er needs. lol

Okay I’m scared. I’ll admit that I’m worried. I’m confused. And I’m stubborn.

We’ve only been here for 12 months. I’m not ready to leave. The children aren’t ready to leave. We have lives here- commitments, relationships. I like being back home. Yeah I know I didn’t really want to come back here a year ago but as soon as we arrived back in SA I was happy to be here.

Did I love Canberra? Yes! Didn’t want to leave.

Did I like Albury /Wodonga? Nope, not really- more than happy to leave.

Did I love Brisbane? Oh boy, did I ever!

But it’s not the point. I’m here now.

I’m not ready for the eighth house in 8 years. I’m not ready for the fourth city in 8 years. I’ll move house but I just want to stay here in this state. Ask me again in another year or two and I might feel differently but for now, I want to stay put!  I’m tired of moving and uprooting the family. I’m battle weary from knowing what it does too my children when they have to leave friendships and try to start again. I mean, some people grow up in a town and live there for nearly their whole adult lives- maybe moving once! People fortunate enough to be in that situation will never experience what it is like to say goodbye and start again… and again… and again. We go to new places, trying to break into the friendship cliques that exist everywhere. We know that (generally) people are living their full, rich lives; complete without us. We know that WE need other people – yet their lives are already full- they don’t need us.  It hurts and I’m so tired from it.

I don’t believe that people try to be rude…and most people aren’t at all. It’s just hard when trying to break into a group and make new friends, feeling that they share something that you don’t – history. They have a history together. Whilst we can try to get in and forge our own history with them, it’s not always easy, especially if they are aware that we’ll only be around for 12 months or 2 years. Can’t say I blame them, in one sense.

Tired of finding new doctor’s, new podiatrists, new school, new hairdresser, new optometrist, new chiropractor, etc. Even daily/weekly activities become a major event as I have to find the place and navigate there. I’m sick of it. I don’t wanna go anywhere!

This is my official ‘online’ temper tantrum. Believe me, you do not want to see my ‘real life’ tantrum.