Month: May 2009

Coffee with Conscience

abigraceart

I love my coffee. Everyone who knows me knows that. My daughter is a barista and has studied, and continues to study, the art, the history, the science of coffee- from the plant to harvesting, roasting and grinding.

Somewhere along the line I learned about Fair Trade…and fair Trade Coffee. I was shocked. I truly had no idea about the coffee that I consumed and where it had come from and under what conditions. I won’t bore you to a glassy eyed state if you’re not interested…but if you love real coffee (and chocolate) and you want to know more, then I urge you to visit the Fair Trade Campaign and to support Fair Trade products.

Fair trade is an organized social movement and market-based approach that aims to help producers in developing countries and promote sustainability. The movement advocates the payment of a “fair price” as well as social and environmental standards in areas related to the production of a wide variety of goods. It focuses in particular on exports from developing countries to developed countries, most notably handicrafts, coffee, cocoa, sugar, tea, bananas, honey, cotton, wine, fresh fruit, chocolate and flowers.

Other links
Fair Trade Association
Fair Trade and the Coffee Campaign
Checkout fair Trade

If you can’t view the video above, you can view it here.
and if you’re a little more interested, view this one as well.

National Diana Waring Conferences

Diana Waring is well loved for her bright enthusiastic presentation of history. Extremely happily married since 1979, Bill and Diana homeschooled their three children nearly twenty years. The Waring kids (now all grown) were the proving grounds for all the concepts and encouragements Bill and Diana teach in real-life examples of the wonders of home schooling!

They will be visiting Australia around September/October this year. Don’t miss this wonderful opportunity to hear an inspiring and experienced home schooler.

If you would like to receive a list of workshop descriptions, suggest a workshop topic or find out further information about meetings, or other ways to be involved, please contact Bernie via her contact page or ph 02 4938 8142.

Diana and Bill have worked in speaking and writing for the Christian home school and private school community for 18 years. Through their business/ministry Diana Waring Presents (formerly, Diana Waring—History Alive!), they have met and talked with home schoolers in 46 states, half of Canada, and three other continents.

The curriculum for world history study Diana wrote, beginning in 1994, has been growing and expanding. She is in the midst of a five year effort to update and expand the research and presentation of the material. She is well known for her rapid-fire history recordings and workshops, but is also appreciated for her workshops and books of home school encouragement, like Beyond Survival and Reaping the Harvest.

Visit the Diana Waring website to find out all about her history curriculum. There are free sample chapters and audios to download. For a sneak preview of Diana’s speaking, download this inspiring, free interview about homeschooling, the arts, learning styles, history and more, visit Blog Talk Radio .

The Waring’s mission: To serve families by encouraging, equipping, and educating in an entertaining way.

Visit the Diana DownUnder website for more information

Registrations are now being taken for most locations. The AussieHomeschool Calendar has further details, based on each date. However each venue has not been fully decided yet.

Sept 22 Inverell
Sept 25-26 Sydney
Sept 28 Maitland
Oct 10 Brisbane
Oct 16-17 Melbourne
Oct 19-20 Adelaide
Oct 23-24 Canberra

State Allows Growing Trend of Eating At Home

For your tongue-in-cheek giggle for today…

State Allows Growing Trend of Eating At Home

———————-

April 13, 2099

Reunited Press

After much heated debate on the house floor, legislation was passed today to allow a growing number of families to cook meals for their families in their homes. The children must have annual physical examinations to assure proper growth and weight gain. Attempts to require weekly meal plans and monthly kitchen inspections were voted down.

A spokesperson from the National Association of Nutritionists (NANs) condemns this decision. “These children are being denied the rich socialization and diversity that is an essential part of the eating process. Without the proper nutritional background, it is impossible for the average person to feed their own children. We, as child advocates, see this as a step backwards and speak out for the sake of the children who cannot speak for themselves.”

Homecooking parents say the benefits of eating at home include increased family unity and the ability to tailor a diet to a particular need. Elizabeth Crocker, a home cook, states, “We started cooking and eating at home when we realized that my son had a severe allergy to eggs. The public kitchens required him to take numerous medications that had serious side effects in order to counteract his allergy. We found that eliminating eggs was a simpler method and our son has thrived since we began doing so.”

After this experience, the Crockers decided to home cook for all of their children, and converted their media room into a kitchen.

Elizabeth says, “We have experienced so much closeness as we have explored recipes and spent time cooking together and eating together.

We have a dining circle with other families where we sometimes share ideas and meals together.”

The Crocker children have done well physically under their mother’s care, weighing in at optimum weights for their ages and having health records far above average. It should be noted that Mrs. Crocker, while not a professional nutritionist, has a family history rich with nutritionists and home economists. “Surely the success of the Crocker children is due to the background of their mother,” responded the spokesman from NANs. “The results they have achieved should not be viewed as normative.” Mrs. Crocker counters that her background was actually a hindrance to the nutritional principles she follows. “Our paternal great-grandmother was a home economist, but she prepared most meal from pre-made mixes. In our homecooking we try not to duplicate public-kitchen meals, but to tailor our meals to the needs and preferences of our children.”

In a related issue, legislation is in committee that would provide oversight for the emerging homecooking movement. Says the Home Eating Legal Defense Association (HELDA): “We want to provide umbrella kitchens to aid parents in the complicated tasks of feeding their children. Many families lack the expertise of the Crocker family, yet desire to eat at home. As we have seen, the umbrella kitchens meet the needs of all concerned. We are happy to provide this service.”

My Life as an Only but Not Lonely Child

I’m an only child! And I loved it. I just never knew any different.

Being an only, I learned to entertain myself and be creative with my imagination.
Being an only gave me lots of uninterrupted time…to think and ponder.
Being an only child allowed me to have other friends sleep over and become part of our family. My best friend was one of 10 children so she became my mum & dad’s adopted daughter and my sister.
Being an only child afforded me to have a special and close relationship with my Mum and Dad.

As I never knew any different I didn’t really wish for anything different. Oh, I do recall asking Mum and Dad for siblings but most children want what they don’t have- it was a fad. I got over it.

We didn’t have much money…we were always fairly poor. But I knew my parents loved me and would bend over backwards to do anything for me that they could. They had a positive attitude and I knew I was loved. I wasn’t showered with material possessions so selfishness never became an issue. My parents just taught me other ways how to share and how to be giving and kind.

Naturally I went everywhere with my parents, so this gave me lots of opportunity for learning how to get on with many others but especially elderly people. I dearly love the elderly and have a great respect for them.

My parents always told me that they would have loved more children, that they tried but they just couldn’t have any more. Knowing that they wanted more children allowed me to see them as more human…it also allowed me to see that the whole world didn’t revolve around me.

I now have four biological children and am blessed to care for my husband’s son (blended family). Sometimes my girls fight and I do not understand it at all. I don’t know how girls can be catty one second and then talk like ‘besties’ the next minute. They tell me it’s a sister thing…I guess I’ll take their word for it because I simply don’t know. Siblings seem to be quite forgiving of each other.

Another hurdle that I had to get over was when I had my own babies. It was all totally foreign to me! I had no idea of what babies entailed…but there are many ways to get round this. We just didn’t know anyone with little children when I was growing up. My mum was quite a bit older when she had me.

The only other hurdle that I had to deal with was that my mum spoiled me. Not in a good way though, more in the true sense of the word, spoiled. She doted on me hand and foot, meaning I simply didn’t learn how to do most things for myself until I got married and was left to sink or swim! Mum regretted not allowing me to do more for myself. She said it was a big mistake of hers and she hoped I would make my children do chores and do things for themselves. Overall, I loved my childhood and wouldn’t have wished for much different.

Yes, that me!

How about you? Are you an only child? Why don’t you post about your childhood or birthorder and pop back here and let me know so I can visit your blog?

Dealing with My Thorn in the Flesh

John is away for work. He may be away for approximately 10 weeks out of the next 16 weeks. We will miss him like crazy…and I just hope and pray that nothing too technical breaks down on our servers, but we’ll manage. I’m not particularly fazed or scared about him being away so much.

Except.

Except in one area. Those who know me in real life, or have followed my blog for awhile may guess as to my area of concern…which also led to my previous post where I voiced this concern about parenting from grace or law. Not that the two can be separated (imbalance is always the result) but my concern is the daily living. The practical reality of everyday life when it is not perfect or ideal.

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

There was a time when I was verbally and physically abrasive. I despised that about myself. I also inherited those traits as learned behaviour and I wanted to break that vicious cycle. So, I set about identifying my triggers. Once identified I became proactive in ordering my lifestyle and habits so as to avoid these triggers as much as possible. Yes sadly, I still need to be controlled by externals in some areas of my life. However, by the grace of God, He is doing a work in me and the things He has taught me have helped me to avoid being abusive toward the ones I love. The problem with external controls is that when they are removed or not in place for various reasons, then self control must take over or all hell breaks loose. I live with a situation that is a huge trigger for me. Much of it is allayed by the fact that I am under my husband’s authority and so he handles much of the situation which is a trigger for me. But when he goes away, he trusts me and delegates full authority to me.

I am not scared of the person. I’m scared of myself. I have seen myself in action and it is not pretty. It is harmful. It can be devastating. I am weak. I will be clinging to 2 Cor 12:9-10

Getting back to my previous post: I like to set fairly rigid rules for our family to live by when John isn’t at home. Problem is, we don’t have too many rules normally. As an example, sometimes, I’ll send the children to bed at 9.30pm and other times it will be midnight. There is never any fuss- this is part of how we practically live by grace. But one child cannot live that way. This child needs a concrete line drawn in the sand. Without it, the child simply will not go to bed at all. Even when the line is drawn, they will push, and push and push- nagging, whining, yelling, screaming: doing anything necessary to *win* (as seen in their eyes).

We parent using natural consequences. If one would like to wear clean clothes on Tuesday, then one will need to wash on Monday. Right? Fair enough? If one does not put them in the laundry or wash them for themselves, then they will not be ready. No, I will NOT run down to the store and buy some brand new socks! No, you may not use my socks. You will have to live with the consequences of your own actions. Harsh? maybe…but fair. However, there is one child who refuses to accept this way of life. Simply and point blank refuses.

So with John not home, the only way I know how to cope is to set firm rules and we all live by them. However, it is really quite draining and hard to live by rules all the time. I find it sucks the very life-joy from me. I know not everyone feels this way but in this situation, I do. We have lived by our Family Ways before and most of us can do it…but it’s wearing. It’s wearing because there is only one who sets out to make it very difficult. Hence my dilemma of what to do and who to do it. I do not want to be broken to the point where I resort to past behaviour. I am weak. I am not strong, like some women have mistakenly believed about me. In fact, I’m not even nice. I can be horrible. I need God’s grace. I need His peace. And I need Him to be very real in my life throughout the coming months.

I know God will help me. I know He will be with me. With all my pro activeness and practising of self control, can I, without God, do that which is commanded of me? Can I submit my flesh, to God? Will I ever be at the point where this ‘thorn in my flesh’ will be able to be used for my own good…let alone God’s glory?

Resistance Training

Just learned that weight lifting is the second lowest injury sport one can do. Walking is the safest and then weight lifting bcz it is done in a controlled, supervised way unlike many other activities. However, more than walking, weight lifting after searching supplement reviews and then buying the best one can actually makes your bones stronger!

I want to be able to lift my grandkids up in the air and to keep up with them. Well, while walking is good, it’s not as good for my bones as weight lifting or resistance training.

I don’t worry about getting all huge and masculine like. It’s not likely that I’ll train enough to look masculine. (One has to work VERY hard and take HEAPS of protein to achieve that) Plus, being female, I don’t have the natural advantage of testosterone so I won’t get bulky and huge rather toned and strong. Whoohoo, the Proverbs 31 in physical action!

For those that are keen but don’t have weights or are scared of them or can’t afford them: never fear. A set of resistance bands (AMart, Kmart, Big W, Target will do) will do exactly the same job! And, it’s very safe! Whilst there are many websites that will show you how to use the bands, here is one just to get you started.

How cool is that?

Do you use weights or resistance? How? What is your program? How much do you do? Please share?

Resistance workout

Exercising my Options

OPTION: noun
1) The power of choosing; the right of choice or election.
2) The power of wishing.
3) Choice; election; preference.

Exercising my options…if only that it what I had been doing… really. We all make choices in life. We all live with the consequences of those choices. It’s a principle that I try to teach my children and I thought I lived by.

Wrong! Or rather it’s true…but only with some things. Not with the hard things.

I have two boys at home. Master J is currently 14 and Master C is 11yo, nearly 12. I tell you, it’s tough being a homeschool mum to these two rambunctious fellows. And I thought it was tough with girls…but this is stretching me in other ways- previously untouched by homeschooling the girls. Doing the hard things, going the extra mile, giving a little bit more, perseverance, diligence…these are all traits that all people do well to practice but the way I need to teach it to my girls is quite different to the way I teach it to the boys. Homeschooling is like getting a mirror and holding it up to see myself. I see all the bumps, cracks and crevices, the warts, the pimples, laughter lines and worry lines. I don’t believe any parent can embrace the homeschooling lifestyle and remain untouched or unchallenged!

I love my cup of tea in the morning. It isn’t an option for me. It is what I do. Always. I have 2 cups of tea and then a milk coffee. It has been non negotiable. I didn’t even really think about it…just did it.

I love my daily computer time. It isn’t an option. It’s just what I do. It’s non negotiable…I just do it.

There are some things in life that I do which are not healthy…the fruits of which are not strength, life, joy, peace. So why do I do them? Why have I made them non negotiable?

I don’t like exercise. I don’t like to sweat. I do not like to drink water. These were all options. I could exercise but I choose not to. I can drink water but I prefer not to. Why? Where will these choices or options get me? Why or when did I make exercise an option, that I could choose to do or choose not to? Why was it not a priority for me?

It was easy for me, as a homeschooler, to let go of my athletic nature. Many years ago, I attended a beautiful homeschool fellowship evening, where mums shared and encouraged each other. It was lovely. The leader of the group was quite academic with a strong focus on literature, the humanities and the arts. Nothing wrong with that though. She stated that she considered it more important for a child to be able to recite poetry than to compete in a sport or be athletic. Ackkkk! Our family was the complete opposite- driven by our sport and fuelled by our love of exercise, this comment stuck with me. I’m embarrassed to admit that it stayed with me and I allowed it to shape my own view for many years. Sadly, I allowed an imbalance to take place in our family and in my own life. And I was reaping the fruit of it- bitter, sharp and biting in the form of thrombophlebitis.

I would make excuses like, I don’t have time. I have to teach 4 children, prepare meals, do laundry, etc but the truth is we all have 1,440 minutes in a day. We choose how to spend that time. My sons were a mirror that allowed me to see what I had become and what modelling for them. And I was not pleased with my reflection! I saw a woman who did not like to do hard things…who preferred to take tasks or activities that I knew would be natural or easy for me. I showed no guts, no determination and very little perseverance. How can I teach these growing young men these traits when my life modelled the exact opposite? Ugh what a reality check!

Was I lazy? No, I wouldn’t say that. I simply didn’t understand how it is possible to find the time to build a healthy and strong body. I wasn’t looking ahead to see where my inactivity would lead me. Thrombophlebitis put a little bit of healthy fear in me. When I look at it I only need about 4 hours per week to build a healthy body! How hard is that? Well, in reality it is a little more than 4 hours simply because I need lots of time to focus. Focusing and researching assists me in making something a priority– whether it be homeschooling, website building, gardening, writing, softball, nutrition or fitness. However, 4 hours would be a better start than no hours at all! Hmm, where would I find those 4 hours? Less TV, less computer, less coffee drinking…the list goes on.

First, I had to make the quest (my Fit n 40 quest) a priority. This means that exercise is now not an option! it’s non negotiable. It’s not an option now. It’s just something that I do. Only this non-option is actually good for me! Do I feel like sitting down to check my emails this morning or do I feel like working out? I DON”T FEEL LIKE WORKING OUT! Not one bit! But, I do want the benefit of it. So, I have a plan, which helps me not to get too bogged down with indecision or procrastination, which will invariably lead to me doing nothing. (Remember the 6 P’s: Prior Preparation & Planning Prevents Poor Performance)

Make the decision.
Prioritise and make exercise non negotiable.
Plan my exercise and nutrition to avoid procrastination.

This is only week 4 for me…so I hope I don’t sound like I’m preachy. I’m not. But I am excited about the changes that I’ve seen happen in my own body and life…and in the life of my children! Whoohoo, talk about positive! we are all learning more about self control, self discipline, dying to the flesh and more! I also realised that this concept of options and choices can relate to any area of our life. We all make choices. We all have things which are optional and non option in our daily lives.

What are some of your non optional activities? Why do you have them and how do they work for you? I’d love to hear more.

Exercise Week: Mon 18th – Sun 24th

Monday
AM – Hard HIIT session on bike for 20 min
PM – Upper Body workout with free weights

Tuesday
Rest (Funeral)

Wednesday
AM – 20min HIIT treadmill I HATE that machine! 2.0km in 20min pftttt! LOL
PM – Lower Body & Abs Workout

Thursday
Rest: Busy day out and about. Went to the theatre (Phantom of the Opera) at night. Didn’t eat enough nor drink any water.

Friday
Upper Body Workout, including 5 min cardio warmup

Saturday Free Day
Out and about with hubby…getting new tyres, etc. Also prepared clothes for his trip. Cooked huge meal (Spaghetti Bolognese) and had a house full. Today was my Free Day.
Sunday
Saw hubby off for 2 weeks. Cleaned the house.

Notes
Exercise was harder in intensity this week but also scattered, due to life situations. Ideally I don’t want to do two workouts per day on day one and then nothing on day two…but I’m a work in progress. SO long as I’m doing something it is better than nothing!

Hmm, have noticed that I drink at least 1.2 litres of water on the days that I train. There’s something in that eh?

Whoohoo! 5 workouts done. 1 workout past target.

My Epiphany on Non Negotiables

I am buzzing!

Monday morning I was feeling down after jumping on the scales. I know I don’t like the scales and I don’t even do a weigh in on Monday so why did I even jump on them? That was dumb. Since then, I’ve had an epiphany of sorts, sparked by online conversations with a friend. I enable myself to fail. I allow myself to treat me badly. For some reason, I accept that this way is okay.

Even working out I have been way too soft on myself. If I do what I’ve always done, then I’ll get what I’ve always got. Exercising half heartedly is not going to get me where I want to be, is it?

Too often I make excuses for myself- in the physical and the emotional, which crosses over to real life:

Oh, I can’t coach softball this year
I’m a homeschool mum with a prodigal child- it is too much stress!
I never ‘came back’ from the knee reconstruction so I have to be careful.
I had an altering surgery 10 years ago which totally affected me…therefore I can’t exercise???
I don’t like to sweat
I don’t like to drink water
I don’t like to get puffed

Well, frankly there must be a pay-off for me somewhere. Somewhere, somehow, I must like the way I am. If I didn’t I would do something about it! What is my payoff?

I allow myself to make and live in excuses to win.

I changed that this week. When? Well, I weighed in on Monday and got real grumpy. REAL grumpy. But I decided that I can choose to be a victim or not. I can choose to allow scales or tape measures or clothes dictate how I should feel…or not! I decided to hit the bike, HARD. It felt good. Tuesday I had the funeral and it was a hard day in many ways….I got up yesterday morning and decided to hit the treadmill HARD. Nothing soft. I did. I pushed. I was pooped. But afterward I was pumped. I actually pushed myself. Wahoo! Then yesterday afternoon, I did my Lower Body Workout and pushed it. Whoohoo! I was just pumped.

Good news? Yeah I’ve got that too. We’ve decided as a family (minus one) to enter the City to Bay run! I have been trying to encourage my son’s (Master J) fitness for 12 months…but all he’s interested in is looking buff and muscly. But he just doesn’t seem to listen when I talk about cardio fitness. Well, he went to Cadets on Tuesday night and he has volunteered to run in the Fun Run for charity!!! (He’s funny like that- he wants to experience as much as he can so he tends to volunteer for anything and everything) So, we had the most educational day yesterday, talking and planning and learning AND doing. He is now committed to it. This makes me happy because I know how beneficial training of any kind can be. I believe in the power of sport and training. I don’t like much of what I see in sports today but I’m not about to throw it all out. I know that training for softball has been THE best life coach and trainer for both Miss A and myself. Now Master C wants to do the walk so it looks like John, myself, Miss A, Master J and Master C will all be doing it, God willing.

We’ve talked about goal setting and mini goals and one step at a time, etc and planning and all those things. I don’t know what has happened but I feel as though a switch has been turned on, in me.

For some reason now I am not hoping that I will achieve success in this area. I know I will. But it won’t happen just by my wishing it. I have to make it work. Which means getting up off my butt and working it. It isn’t easy. It won’t be easy but do I want it?

High Intensity Interval Training for Homeschool Mums

If you have read any of my Fitn40 posts you would have seen the acronym HIIT. You may have wondered what on earth it is all about. Quite simply, it is short for High Intensity Interval Training– a method of working out. You can see my initial thoughts on it in a previous post.

What is it?
HIIT or High Intensity Interval Training is a form of cardio that involves intervals of varying intensities, with some of those intensities quite high. A typical HIIT session will involve some bursts of “give-it-all-I’ve-got” training followed by periods of lower intensity that allow for active recovery (this means my body can recover somewhat even though I haven’t completely stopped exercising).

Where can I do it?
Anywhere! I can use a machine as in a treadmill, bike, rower, elliptical trainer or other such things or you can do it while walking around the oval, swimming or jogging. I usually use the exercise bike or the treadmill.

When can I/should I do it?
Anytime is a good time! However, some enthusiasts like to do their HIIT workout before breakfast. I can see how beneficial this might be but it’s usually not viable for me at this time. My daughter loves to do a hard HIIT workout after tea. She says she sleeps like a baby that night.

Why should I do it?

The advantages of HIIT training are that I burn more calories in a shorter period of time.
It trains my cardiovascular system to work under a heavier stress load. Strengthening my heart is a good thing!
HIIT boosts my metabolism for up to 18 hours after the session. Whoohoo! This has to be good! So I can lose weight/burn fat while I sit at the computer.
The disadvantage of HIIT is that it is high intensity and therefore requires time to recover. I (along with most other people) can only manage a few (three or four) HIIT sessions per week. HIIT is not beneficial for everyone- especially for those who are on a very restricted calorie intake, which I’m not. It depends upon your needs.
It doesn’t take me too long. I can’t stand the thought of working out for hours (boring!) nor am a delighted at the prospect of training to get fit only to spend hours more time working out. HIIT gives me a solid cardio workout in a short amount of time. In a word: Efficiency.
I’m able to customise my cardio workout to suit my needs. It can be adapted to suit any fitness level according to the individual’s needs and goals. (Um, why wouldn’t a homeschooler go in for that philosophy? 😉 )
It’s about working smarter- not longer.
To be a good role model for my children. This not only encourages them to be fit and healthy but also encourages me and my family members to push through – to not give up.

How do I do it?
The HIIT method that I use is detailed in Body for Life by Bill Phillips. It involves a few minutes of warm-up, followed by intervals that last a minute. For example, on the treadmill or bike I might do a minute at 5 miles per hour (mph), then a minute at 6mph, a minute at 7mph, a minute at 8mph, then you drop back down to 5mph and repeat.

Body for Life has some information on it, including a handy chart.

Choose a form of aerobic exercise – walking or running on a treadmill or elliptical machine or biking inside or outside. On a scale of 1 -10, 1 being the easiest and 10 the hardest, start exercising at a level 5 intensity (Your level 5 will be different to my level 5).

1. Minute 1 – warm up at Intensity Level 5
2. Minute 2 -3 – move from Intensity Level 5 to 6
3. Minute 3 – Level 7
4. Minute 4 – Level 8
5. Minute 5 – Level 9 – Give It Everything Minute
6. Minute 6 – Back to Level 6
7. Minute 7 – Level 7
8. Minute 8 – Level 8
9. Minute 9- Level 9 – Give It Everything Minute
10. Minute 10 – Level 6
11. Minute 11 – Level 7
12. Minute 12 – Level 8
13. Minute 13 – Level 9 – Give It Everything Minute
14. Minute 14 – Level 6
15. Minute 15 – Level 7
16. Minute 16 – Level 8
17. Minute 17 – Level 9 – Give It Everything Minute
18. Minute 18 – Level 10 – C’mon, Give me Just One More Minute
19. Minute 19 – Back to Level 5 – Cool down
20. Walk gently while stretching out.

Alternate weight-training and cardio workouts for six consecutive days and rest on the seventh day.

I have a printout which is pinned to the wall, right above the tready and bike- so I can easily keep track of where I need to be. You can download it here, (pdf) from my download section.

The Sacred Cows of Homeschooling

I’m not much different to a biker! No, not really. My husband was a biker, not just rode a bike but was a biker, in every true sense of the word. He lived by a code. I wasn’t not a biker by any stretch of the imagination. But I still lived by a code- a different code to that of my husband but a code nevertheless. We can all tend to live by a code if we’re not careful. Just because we stick a Jesus or fish sticker on the code, doesn’t make it right.

Thankfully God revealed Himself to us and He poured His grace upon us. Ah, the freedom, the liberty, the absolute peace that living under grace was all about was astounding. The Holy Spirit moved through us as we ministered to others and He also ministered to us directly. I was young in the faith but my love for God and His word, my passion and zeal was strong. I knew I had things to learn but I also knew where I’d come from and how much God had taught me in a relatively short time. I knew He would continue to teach me- and then I would know it was truly His work in me- not a work of the flesh.

Early on in our marriage, John and I were in ministry and had learned something of the ‘cows that Christians hold sacred’. What a Christian is supposed to do and not supposed to do- according to Scripture…supposedly. Our sacred cows are often nothing more than filthy rags…an outworking of the flesh. We have always fought against sacred cows both in Church life and personal Christian life.

When our children came along we wanted the best for them. We wanted to train them in the ways of the Lord and build solid relationships with them- encouraging them always toward God. We wanted to help them to discover their God-given gifts and talents. We wanted to encourage them to serve the Lord with their whole heart. To serve man, as serving the Lord.

With great enthusiasm we entered the wide world of home education. It was exciting and everything we wanted for our family. I started to see better ways of homeschooling. Better ways of training our children. More godly ways of teaching our children. More godly forms of dress, of eating, of playing, of work.

Sacred Cows.

I have lived through the ‘Thief in the Night’ era, the scare of the New Age movement, the Christian Rock era, the laughing spirit, the gold dust, gold teeth, spiritual barking in the aisles, spiritual dancing era and much more. Fads fall in and out of fashion, even within Christianity, sadly. These teachings all have a place but we can tend to take them to extremes and become unbalanced.

I see danger.

We live on the super information highway. We have so much information available to us that it’s just plain scary. It’s confusing. Daunting. Overwhelming. Constantly, we are told by the media what to think, what to wear, what to eat, how to spend money, etc. As believers who are slaves of Christ and not the world, let us not conform to man made traditions…we shouldn’t check our brains at the church door just because it is church. Or just because a book/teacher/lovely woman said so.

As a Christian who sees the danger in this modern world it is easy to embrace the sacred cows of homeschooling. And one thing I have learned is that homeschooling is often extreme. Sure it’s extreme in many ways and I actually love and appreciate that. But the extreme baggage that comes with it is something I do not appreciate. Maybe you didn’t know it beforehand, but the homeschooling lifestyle often has its own CODE. Just like bikers have their code, so did I.

After all, I desired to serve God with my whole heart. I want nothing more than to dedicate my life to serving Him. I want my children to know Him as I know Him. I desire that they love Him as I love Him. But in this day, how can I be sure that will happen? By living according to the code. I’ve often seen it applied and lived out as a formula, but another term is ‘a code’. Regardless, it’s a trap, it’s wrong. It’s an idol.The code takes biblical principles and makes a law out of them. The code replaces grace. The code is cleverly disguised. The code is upheld as being better, more godly, more spiritual, etc but it is simply another system. Another law. Another set of standards in which to live by. There is no grace involved in the practical sense, only in the words.

What is this code?

What exactly is in this code that so many start to innocently and genuinely embrace? The homeschool code may have started with God’s commands but it has added to it. It has complete doctrines built around it. It is putting words into the mouth of Scripture that simply are not there. But there is a feeling of safety in the code. It’s easier to look toward a code for how to live than to trust in God for every step.

I believe that much of the homeschool code is a knee-jerk reaction. We don’t want to be worldly so the opposite of that must be …The Code! Matters of preference and liberty are made into Law. We replace God’s actual Law and principles with our own interpretation of what we believe God’s principles OUGHT to be. Replacing God’s word (and grace, freedom, liberty, relationship) with a code robs us of our freedom and our joy in Christ. What? Does our freedom in Christ mean we can wear pants, buy store-bought bread and not head cover? True Christian freedom comes from having the freedom not to sin. That’s it. Anything more and it becomes the code.

The Law

Okay so what does this Homeschool Code look like?

Homeschool, homebirth, anti-vaccination, home-made cooking, home made bread, grinding own wheat, dresses only, plain dresses only, no pants, head-covering, training girls to only be SAHM, no university for girls, home business, homesteading, country life, father-centred homes, quiverfull, courtship, no tv…oh boy, the list just goes on and on. It’s all preference, not mandated. Now these are not bad or wrong. In themselves they’re good issues to seriously and prayerfully consider. But they are not law. They are not a formula for success. Adhering to them will not achieve salvation or be pleasing to God. Salvation is made possible because of the fullness of Christ and the work on the Cross. These issues are not wrong in and of themselves but they can become idolatrous. Idolatry begins in our heart- anything that takes the place of God.
Funny thing I’ve noticed is that despite all the teaching to the contrary it is often the homeschool mums who are striving for for this type of life…often it is she who read, studies and decides ( or puts the matter convincingly before her husband) upon this lifestyle. There’s an ideal lifestyle. That ideal looks pretty much perfect. And many strive for it. The result? Burnout, frustration, feeling of failure, feeling of guilt or sin…

I know. I was guilty of it. I read the books. I developed the vision. I strove toward it. My husband’s view of most issues hasn’t changed since the day we met. My ideals changed as I read books that purported the Christian Homeschool Code.

I believe God wants more from us than that. He wants more than His people living out a code. He wants relationship. He wants to lead us- daily. He wants us to go to Him, not man. The food we eat, the clothes we wear, the shows we watch, the books we read. He will give us His direction for our family. In fact, He did give my husband direction…but it wasn’t the same as what the Homeschool Code suggested and I tried to change our direction.

I don’t know if I have made any sense here. These are unprocessed thoughts I’ve had tumbling through my mind. I wrestled with the thought of not even publishing this post as I don’t wish to discourage anyone but after leaving it as a draft for some time I do believe need to speak it. I don’t know if anyone else but me needs to hear it, but I need to speak it. if none of this makes any sense to you, just put it out of your mind. If it bugs you, then feel free to ask me to clarify or feel free to comment and disagree. But most of all, pray about it and seek the Scriptures. Not a writer or a book but God’s word.

What sacred cows do you hold? Who or what do you serve? Really?

Living By Grace…Or By the Law

Living with others, by grace, is not always an easy thing, is it? Oh, it’s easy when one is away at church camp or at fellowship meeting but what about when one of those other imperfect people lives with you, in your house?

Let me be honest. At times, I feel it is easier to follow rules- to live BY THE LAW and to heed whatever my Overland Park Theft Lawyer says, than to live in grace. So many times I want to establish house rules, family rules, and by golly (as I punch my fist into my hand) I WILL assert those rules. Sometimes I want to run my home as if it were a military base (and I’m not the family member in the military!). Strangely, John (the military member) is one who cannot tolerate any form of legalism…yet I sometimes find myself strangely drawn to it. I think I find safety in it. If I obey XYZ rules, then God will protect me, right? Nothing bad will happen, right? I will be blessed, right? I will be happy, free, at peace, right?

WRONG!

It doesn’t happen like that. Unless you follow popular, modern teaching of prosperity or legalism teaching (in which case, it is unconfessed sin in my life or something I haven’t done right that resulted in an unfortunate situation) which is unbiblical. Sometimes stuff just happens! For various reasons- and only God knows why. I don’t believe that’s the issue though. The issue is more “Ok Father, how would you have me live within this or through this?”

A time is coming where I want to lay down the law in my home. I want to set a set of rules and by golly, everyone (except John, of course) WILL obey. But will they obey in love…will I have their heart? In all situations is that what is important? Where do we draw the line? Where is that line that is drawn between allowing attitudes and behaviour in order to keep lines of communication open and/or protecting/guarding the others in the family? How much can a parent take, before they have to draw the line?

Sorry for the incoherent ramble. This probably doesn’t make any sense…it’s just tumbling out of my mouth and onto the screen.

I don’t know…I don’t have any answers. Do you? Any words of wisdom to impart?

My son's loss

I received a phone call from my son on Friday night. His mother had been killed in a motorbike accident. She was only 48. ‘S’ has been a part of my life (for better and for worse) since I was 18. She is the birth mother of my son (step-son). She was, for 10years, a very good friend of mine and through her (by positive and negative experiences experiences) I learned a lot. We drifted apart once we started moving around the nation. It happens. Life takes people in different directions. I did manage to catch up with S a few months ago though.

We spent several hours with D…and many more to come, no doubt. This boy (who is now 26, but will always be ‘one of my boys‘ hasn’t had the easiest of lives and I’d like to ask you to pray for him – that not only will God give him peace but that He will draw D to Himself like never before… that He will indeed turn something for good out of this tragedy.

Some of my readers will know of S and my relationship with her. Some may be confused by this post and for that, I apologise. Many readers will not be aware that I became an instant mum when I was married at age 18. My husband had a son. He was 5 when we met and he turned 6 just before we got married. I totally dislike the term step-son and step-mother but that’s what we were. Ever since I determined to be John’s wife I accepted that D would be my son. He calls me Mum and I call him my son. However, I need to distinguish this sometimes as it can become confusing for others. You have no idea how many looks we have had over the years- especially when people do the math and realise that I was 14 when D was born.

If I’m not around much over the next week -10 days, you’ll know where I am. I’m grieving for my friend and supporting my loved ones in their time of loss and sorrow.

Exercise for wk3

Exercise Journal from4th – 9th May

Exercise
Mon: Attempted Billy Blanks Basic Bootcamp. Ain’t nothing basic about it. Good, hard fun. (Didn’t use resistance bands)
Tues:
Wed: Basic Bootcamp.
Thur:
Fri: 20min High Intensity Interval Workout on bike
Sat:

Notes:
Ugh, felt good on Monday…a little stiff on Tuesday but I was feeling ridiculously stiff by Wednesday. I really needed to do some basic treadmill/bike/stretching on the Tuesday.

Wednesday was good- Bill Blanks (BB) is tough but very good for the WHOLE body. of course, I look like a frog in a blender but no one sees me so it’s all good.

Friday was ok. didn’t feel like doing anything but pushed myself to do the bike. Bike is good but not as total body as BB.

This is Wk 3 of my Fit n 40 Quest. In Wk 5 I might go back to aiming for 4 workouts a week- even if it is just walking or bike.

All in all, a good week. Haven’t weighed in- not going to. Too negative. But my body has felt good and John commented that I even seem to be carrying my self better- better posture.

Mothers Day 2009

I was planning a feast for Mother’s Day. I wanted to celebrate being a mum and I wanted to bless my husband and children- for without them I wouldn’t be a mum! However John won’t be home on Sunday…he has to work. This disappointed Miss A so yesterday she got with the other children and went shopping for a gift.

I woke up this morning and they children took me out for breakfast. We went to Cafe Verdi and had yummy food and good coffee. (Okay, the coffee wasn’t the best but the company and event made it the best). The children presented their lavish gifts to me. Wow, did they spoil me or what!

(Click to see larger image)

I received a lovely black top, with Indian style needlework down the front. A Bottle of Kylie’s “Showtime”, a purse, a great coffee mug filled to the brim with honey coated cashews and a bottle of liquorice Sambuca. And…and the recent Paul Potts CD: Passione. Whoohoo, I’ve wanted this as soon as I heard about it. And a card…I love cards. Especially when they children write in them. (Tehee, the slogan on the coffee mug is “I have children and a sense of humour, What’s your super power?”)

(Click to see larger image)

I used to look at some mum’s and wonder why my children didn’t do those lovely, sweet things. Problem was, I was looking at the mums who had teens and young adults and wishing my younger children would be like that. Pffttt! How unreal of me. Mother’s Day certainly looks different now to when I had young children…but I love all the stages. Grubby little hand prints and misspellings on cards…weeds picked and given as flowers…ah, how sweet and adorable is that?

But that season of life has passed for me…I now get more ‘grown up’ gifts but as the mother of a prodigal it is not all roses and chocolate. The day also brought yet another heartache…as special family days usually do when a family has a prodigal child. So with John away at the moment, it was lovely to receive a phone call from him. He wasn’t due to call me until late tonight but somehow he was able. Thank you Lord for prompting him and providing opportunity for him to call, if only for a brief few minutes.

How are you planning to celebrate Mother’s Day this year? Are you in a stage of celebrating and blessing others? Are you training your children in the art of blessing others? What will you do this Sunday?

Fitn40 weekly record

Exercise record from Tuesday 28th until Sunday 3rd April

Tues 28th

EXERCISE:
10 min HIIT on bike
10 HIIT treadmill
*HIIT= High Intensity Interval Training
20 x Tricep curls
20 x Bicep thingys
Abs:
Back-friendly crunches 3 styles @ 20 each
Flexibility:
Stretching routine
Notes
Good day- felt great.

Wednesday 29th

EXERCISE:
5 min warmup on bike
5min warmup on treadmill
Lower body
Steps up 10@ each leg
15x Body weight Squats
15x Medball Squats
5 raised lunges
Abs:
20x Reverse crunches
10x leg extensions
Flexibility:
Stretching routine
Notes
Actually felt like doing something first thing this morning!

Thursday 30th
EXERCISE:
5 min warmup on bike
5min warmup on treadmill
Lower body

Abs: Abi put me through some paces

Flexibility:
Stretching routine

Friday
EXERCISE:
5 min warmup on bike
5min warmup on treadmill
Lower body

Flexibility:
Stretching routine