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Unschooling or School At Home. So which is it?

If you’ve read my blog over the years or my forum posts you may be excused for wondering what type of homeschoolers we are! One month we seem to be favouring an unschooling approach and another month we seem to be doing school-at-home! Looking at our homeschooling timeline may not help clear the issue either.

So which is it?

Neither and all!

We have seasons. I don’t like labels as they are too constricting. Rather we go with the flow. So we have had times when we have fully unschooled, but then our life has changed a little and a new season begins so unschooling stops. Because this is following the natural rhythms of our family it is easy for the children to adapt- it is natural.

Therefore I cannot say that we are unschoolers, or natural learners, or anything really… other than home-based-learners. I find it difficult to truthfully answer questions like this. I want to answer but even if I respond by painting a picture of what our homeschooling season looks like now, in a few months it will have changed and that picture will no longer be an accurate portrayal of our life.

I know that doesn’t help new or inquiring homeschoolers much (when they really want a concrete picture) but it is the truth. Over the years we have just done what needed to be done. Sometimes this has meant formal spelling lists and at other times it has meant NO spelling focus at all.

There is a time for everything. Observe your family rhythm. Observe your children. Be decisive in your course of action. Embrace each season. Live together, play together, pray together, love.

What is the Chief End of Homeschooling?

We started the learning-at-home adventure toward the end of 1996, so this is our 13th year. Over that time I have been bamboozled, ferhoodled, and lacking in confidence through to confident, visionary and fulfilled. I have gone through a many seasons, each bringing their own emotions, ups and downs. On the AussieHomeschool forum, a dear lady asked the following questions:

Come on ladies, tell me – who has some secrets for keeping your cool? How do we get a grip on those flaky days? Any overcomers out there?

It’s not often that I get to answer in the positive in things like this… but I’d really have to say that after 13 years of home based learning and raising 4-5 children, I am an overcomer! I am surviving and so are the children!

No, it’s not because I am perfect or that I have it together– because nothing could be further from the truth. So, what is my secret? Can others experience this peace too?

Trust. Surrender

Knowing that this journey is also about me. Knowing that this journey is more about relationships than academics.

I have a temper. And a short fuse although, by the grace of God and learning to practice the presence of God, it is lengthening. I also have a potty mouth. I have been known, in the past, to speak in a way that cuts people to the core, leaving them drowning in a pool of blood. I hated myself. I hated my actions and the complete lack of self control I had over my emotions and my tongue. And yes, sadly, my older children do remember my propensity toward uncontrollable, verbal rage. I am thankful for the Cross, and its power to heal. My journey does not end there, That was who I was, not who I am.

I have learned that homeschooling is not about perfection or anything closely resembling it, but it is about developing relationships.

I’ve learned that homeschooling is an extension of parenting and this is still the same whether or not my child attends public school, private school, homeschool books or unschooling.

I’ve learned that homeschooling is not a goal… it is a process. I’ve learned that the children growing up to *look like* a perfect homeschooler is just nowhere near good enough.

I’ve learned that this homeschooling journey isn’t about academics, nor is it even about character, for character will not get anyone into heaven!

The goal of this homeschooling business is that I should become so dependent upon God that I fall onto my knees daily, seeking His face, hungering after a touch from Him. Parenting should drive me to my knees!

What does this practically mean when I’m knee deep in laundry and eating cereal or toast for tea? It means that there is an eternal reason for all this mess, untidiness, and constant training. That reason is that God wants ALL of us- our entire life. Our goal is to love God and glorify Him forever – in the midst of spilled Weetbix and poopy nappies and children that can’t spell.

I know this isn’t the most practical advice you’ve ever heard but in all honesty, it is truth and reality for me. I’ve tried everything over the years. I’ve tried great schedules, quiet times, days off, and all those other things but for me, they are all temporary reprieves. Seeking after the heart of God in earnest, before ALL other things is the only way I have been able to flourish, not just survive.
The only practical thing I can offer is that this too shall pass. Things do get easier. As the children get older, as they invariably do, things will get easier. I promise. Of course, the developing ages bring their own unique set of curve balls but again, it’s back to the beginning…

What is the chief end of man?

Man’s chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him forever.

Photo credit: Forgiven by Greg Olsen Art

Michal: first wife of King David

Knowing I was going to be laid up recently I had been on the lookout for a new fiction book. I don’t remember how I came to find out about this new series but I’m glad that I did. I have been wondering if I’d find a series to enjoy as much as I loved Gods and Kings… and this is looking promising.

The series is The Wives of King David by Jill Eileen Smith. The first book is Michal and whilst it is fiction I did gain a deeper insight into the life, times and culture of this era. I still don’t understand how David had many wives but this book gave me some thoughts to ponder.

The author’s research for The Wives of King David series was broad and in-depth, spanning Bible commentaries, Bible encyclopedias, Bible dictionaries, archaeological magazines, books on manners, customs, and life and times of the Old Testament eras. She searched websites for Bible places, Hebrew words, and interesting tidbits, studied maps and photos of Israel, made idea boards where she “cast” models and actors into the novel’s starring roles to help her “see” her characters, read books on women of the Bible, Bible cookbooks, and tried some of the recipes. As a final research tool, she traveled with her husband to Israel, giving her a final hands-on feel for the place.

I don’t know about you but that sounds like a *living book* to me!

I’d not read much about Michal before (unlike my studies of Abigail) but this book has gotten me into the word again. Funny, isn’t it… how facts when placed in a novel can really make a story come alive.

Interested in reading the first chapter? Head to the books website: Michal and download Chapter 1.

Suffice to say that I’m reading through the books of Samuel whilst I wait for the next book, (Abigail) to arrive.

Kneeding to rest

Well, I’m in and out. Had the knee surgery and am on the mend. The surgeon found that the problem wasn’t as much with my meniscus cartilage as much as it was Joint Surface Damage. There was a bone flap that was sticking out and causing the pain and trouble. So he cut it off, filed it down and it should settle very quickly. He shaved off a little of the remaining meniscus cartilage but I still have a little of that left on the inner side of the knee. However weighted squats and lunges are off the weight training agenda for me, which is downer but at least I will be largely pain free and ready for softball next season!

Okay, so it’s not really called a bone flap but that’s what it looked like when the Dr. drew a diagram. It’s actually called Joint Surface Damage and it could happen playing sport with twisting or lifting too heavy a weight- which is what I think it was with me. Properly named chondromalacia or chondral fracture can occur the same ways that ligament tears happen. It can degenerate over time with incorrect mechanics of an activity or it can be damaged instantly.

I went in at 7am last Friday morning and was home by 3pm! I had a great sleep that night, even slept on my tummy and it didn’t hurt the knee. Over the following 2 days I felt pretty good so I pushed it a bit much. I had to go back to resting more and it seems to be slowly getting stronger. I have a follow up appointment with the surgeon next week and I hope to find out when I can go back to exercising.

John has had all this week off work and it’s been great- although we haven’t gotten much done. We’ve had all week off lessons so will resume next week when life returns to normal. (Huh? What is normal?)

Thanks to all those who have prayed for me and a speedy recovery. Much appreciated. :pray:

Kneeding surgery

Well hasn’t it been a busy week? With taxi-ing children to their activities, upgrading websites, building new ones, housekeeping, softball, phone calls and forums there’s little time left over for blogging!

Who remembers that I injured my knee late last year? Actually it’s the second knee injury I’ve sustained. I tore the meniscus cartilage 6 years ago and had to have surgery to have the right side of the cartilage cut back and shaved. I knew how I did that injury though- I did a softball movement and felt and heard a distinctive “pop”.

Not so this time! I thought at first, that I had injured it again at softball but the more I’ve thought about it I believe it happened at the gym. I tried to go too hard at an exercise which strained the muscles and ligaments around the knee and then without giving it sufficient rest I used a machine which should never be used with those who have knee problems. I felt a little ‘pop’ but nothing major. However continuing to exercise hard and play softball aggravated it and made it worse until I tore the cartilage severely.

It took me awhile to go to the doctors to get a referral to the specialist because I knew it would mean surgery and I was too busy! C’mon surely other homeschool mum can relate to that?

Eventually I went. My surgery was scheduled for the 26th March. Eek! This would be cutting it fine as exactly 7 days later I was due in Melbourne to coach an U/19 Women team. Thankfully the assistant had put me on the cancellation list. Last week I received a call from the surgeon’s office asking if I wanted to come in early. Oh yeah! so, tomorrow is the day!

Miss A and I will leave home at 6.30am and John will pick me up after work later on in the evening. Miss A will then head back home and oversee the boys doing their household chores and lessons. Then they’ll head out and do the grocery shopping. She even hopes to have a meal cooked but i think she may be guilty of over scheduling. 😉

I don’t know how long recovery will be as it depends upon what the surgeon has to do. From the x-ray it looks like he will have to cut back the left side of the meniscus which will leave me with no meniscus cartilage but the worst part of that is a dull arthritic pain which I get now anyway. So I’m not fussed, there’s people all over the world a lot worse off than me. It will be lovely to not be in constant pain though – I am looking forward to that.

I’m also looking forward to getting back into exercise! Wow I have missed it. I’ve also felt it in my body too. At first I thought that I could keep exercising my upper body but the reality is that constant pain just wore me down and I have barely been making it through each day. The thought of trying to exercise is just way too much at this stage. But soon… soon I will be back on the bike and treadmill and lifting the weights!

Anyway, that’s my bit of news for the week… how’s life at your place?